In The Absolute Fullness
of Her Resplendent Glory

I feel most feminine when I am open, relaxed, free, and creative. Although I put much less effort into my feminine appearance these days, I feel more feminine than I ever have because I feel so much more open, relaxed, free, and creative than I ever have.

But there is also the masculine part of me whose job is to ensure that the feminine part of me flourishes as much as possible. Beyond the job of supporting the feminine aspect, the masculine aspect — which is relatively more closed, tense, bounded, and analytical — has no reason for being. He is dependently originated and conditioned while she is the primordial basis for conditioned genesis itself. And because she is the transcendental basis of his own existence, when she no longer has any use for him in the divine process of her own self-revelation, he dutifully vanishes of his own accord having fulfilled his noble function, like a rainbow disappearing when the conditions generating it have gone.

In this way both the feminine and masculine aspects of myself are interdependent because each supports the other (the feminine uses the masculine to reveal itself while the masculine gets its role from the feminine). But there is also an asymmetrical and evolutionary process of development whereby the primordial feminine principle (which was temporarily obscured in the beginning by the overwhelming dominance of the masculine principle) gradually dawns and then fully rises to the forefront of conscious awareness with the aid of the now self-disciplining rationality of the masculine principle. The masculine principle never disappears but becomes radically recontextualized in this shift from the feminine moving from the background to the foreground. Just like a rainbow isn’t actually annihilated when it disappears because there was never an objectively existing rainbow in the first place (it was only ever a temporary optical illusion), when the masculine principle vanishes it is not actually annihilated but rather he returns to the primordial feminine which gave birth to him.

And here’s the most wonderful thing: when I am my most feminine, the very thought “I am feminine” never arises (and correlatively, the contrary “I am not feminine” also has no basis for arising since a negation assumes the arising and existence of what is being negated). I am so open, relaxed, free, and creative that there is no need for this kind of lagging self-reflection and thinking because I am fully facing forward at the front of my becoming, often with eyes wide open and mouth agape in wonder, mind empty and heart full. If there is anything that life is “all about” it can only ever simply be this.

The duality between feminine and masculine only exists for the conceptually discriminating masculine principle, and this duality itself undergoes a transformation over the course of historical time from an immature state of agonistic contradiction to a mature state of amorous union.

But from the old crone’s own sagely perspective, such a duality no longer registers. She has no sense of her own identity, not because she can’t or doesn’t have one but because she is too busy being herself in the absolute fullness of her resplendent glory to spend precious time and space on anything else, having seen through all such illusions of fixity and finality. She has found herself, and found herself to be absolutely open, relaxed, free and creative. She is living her story and living it to its fullest.